As I was eating breakfast this morning I was thinking about all of the new experiences I have had as a new widow.
Let’s start with the positives… Yes, I still look for some form of positivity in the shit world that I now live in.
I have accomplished running my first half marathon. No I never ran in my life before but it seems I have some anger issues that help me to run two hours and forty-six minutes.
I have spent more time with my girlfriends and have even made some new friends! I’m enjoying the girl time yet resent them when they bitch about their husbands.
I’ve now taken some trips to California, Vegas, and the Dominican Republic.
I tiled my master bathroom with the help of a good friend. I’m still acting as the General Contractor finishing our unfinished house.
Other enjoyments to becoming a widower are my new enemies and my new accomplishments:
Power tools — I have now hung curtain rods, numerous picture frames and next on the list will be towel bars.
In the midst of cooking, cleaning and oh yes grieving, I have now gotten to use the above tool more than once to tighten training wheels, seats and whatever else has fallen off of my son’s bike.
Do you know what this is?
It is my husband’s 20 gallon air compressor that is noisy as shit. And I figured out how it worked when I decided to buy a $30 pool for my backyard. My counselor told me I should find a way to incorporate water fun in my backyard since that was something my kids and husband and I enjoyed so much. I’m still trying to figure out if the $30 pool really compares to the 21′ Sea Ray we had on the river. The kids seem to be okay with it so I guess I shouldn’t resent the fact that it is one more thing I do not do anymore.
My next big purchase this summer was a new lawn mower. Yes my beloved “Yardman” with electric start. The key works great when you have the battery charged…hence that has only been once so far this summer. So I’ve had to pull that stupid cord thing. One time my neighbor “man” had to walk to my house and start it. The other times after about 10 pulls and a lot of swear words followed by a few kicks I got it started on my own. Success–lawn has been mowed. No edging done though I’m too scared of the weed whacker thing. I’m sure my new neighbors behind me are not appreciating my uneven lines and long grass around the fence and every other area I can not cut with the mower. Of course they bag their grass clippings, and cut at a perfect diagonal. Fuck em!
Do you think Sears could change this to CRAFTSWOMAN? I think I’m doing pretty good at being crafty since my husband passed away. After all how many women can work the above tools, make a decent meal, take care of two small children, clean, do laundry, run a 1/2 marathon, finish completing a bathroom, staircase, painting, and still read a god damned love story at the end of the day.
If Rosie can do it I think I can too! Even if I do not want to.
This is my new family motto!!!
Viudasgirl's Weblog 
I found your blog through Matt Logelin’s. You are an amazing woman. I could tell how much love you have for you husband by how you talked about him. I love that you said he needed you as much as you needed him. That is a sign of a great marriage. As a mother of two young kids married to my high school sweetheart for 12 years I can’t imagine going through what you are! I think it’s great that you are positive, remembering the things you have accomplished… Are you now setting your goal to a marathon?? I can’t imagine running 13 miles!
Stay strong!
Shelley