Everywhere there is beauty to be found.  Sometimes I can see it, feel it, and even express it.  Other times I feel like the world is a horrible place to be.  A place where things happen for no reason.  What is the point I ask?

How do I move forward and enjoy the beauty in life?  I have a lot to be thankful for…I have two beautiful children.  A neighborhood filled with caring, loving people.  A safe place for my children to grow, a beautiful house filled with many comforts.  I have many friends who have given me the needed love and support to get through my days.  I have wonderful parents that have helped me more than I can ever repay.  Yet I still am sad, and hopeless at times.  My best friend, the man I admired so much is no longer with me.  The man I married because I knew he would love me and never leave me.  A man with integrity, drive, ambition, confidence.  A man who needed me as much as I needed him.  

My husband,  the man I thought I would grow old with because we had something that I knew others did not.  How do I move forward?  How do I accept a life that I now have when I already had what I wanted.  

I find every day is a struggle to look for hope, to look for a new life.  How do I raise my children with the values instilled in my husband that I so admired.  How do I pass on his way of thinking, his passion, his desire to accomplish his dreams.  How do I find happiness again and honor his life?

I’m 30, single and widowed…dealing with more than the average married couple with children.  I’m changing every day, I’m setting goals, I’m remembering more than I wish and forgetting things I never thought I would.  

I hope my story helps someone else, I hope it helps me…