I have never been a blogger.  I never thought I would start a blog.  I feel a little shy about sharing my deepest, darkest thoughts to the world when I sometimes do not want to share them with a close friend.  I decided it may help me in my journey of grief if I left myself anonomous so that I truly share with you my feelings of the day.  My only goal in this blog is to have a record of my journey through grief.  A journey I never expected at 30, a journey I wish I was not experiencing.  My husband died ten months ago today and I still find I sometimes do not think it really happened.  I struggle daily with fear, guilt, sadness, happiness, hope, and numerous other feelings that usually ride with me throughout my roller coaster ride I now call life.