Viudasgirl’s Weblog

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scared…

August 28, 2008 at 2:30 am · Filed under Uncategorized

When I’m not filling up my time entertaining two kids, cleaning or taking care of all the other household duties I find I stop and feel really fucking scared.  How am I going to do this?  What will my life be like?  Will I go through the next 60+ years just running around and never feeling happy again?  When will this dark, dreary cloud leave my side?

How am I going to make all the right decisions?  When I screw up who will help me pick up the pieces?

Can I find happiness that will last longer than half a day?  Can I find a place where I want to be in the world?  

So many unknowns, so many questions…

5 Comments »

  Dogs and Babies wrote @ August 28, 2008 at 1:45 pm

A Matt lurker…Thank you for being willing to share your story–that takes awesome courage! And I am so so impressed with your ability to look at the positives in your life…take care of yourself.

  Giselle wrote @ August 29, 2008 at 8:10 am

Everyone feels scared time and again.. We just have to pick ourself up and say that We Can Do It! If we let ourselves drown in self-imposed sorrow, we would be forever moaning and whining..
You must be doing a great job making your home a happy place to be in, providing your children with a safe haven and giving them the security that they need, letting your husband work freely with the thought in his mind that you are there and that you are capable. You are great. do you realize that?!

http://4mgiselle.wordpress.com

  Jenny wrote @ August 29, 2008 at 1:38 pm

Another Matt lurker… you’ll find a lot of us. Know that you have so many people that will be routing for you… although it’s not the person that you really want to be with you we are here. You are living me greatest fear and I give you credit for just living… I also love that you like the word fuck… it’s nice to read the words of a fellow midwestern girl. I pray for strength for you… oh and NICE work on the half… I have run two and make a point of saying 13.1 because that last.1 is such a bitch :)

  Kris in the MN wrote @ August 30, 2008 at 2:23 am

Another lurker from Matt’s blog. I am truly so sorry for your loss. You, like Matt, amaze me. The strength you have is amazing to me and you should feel proud of yourself.

I think being scared is normal. It’s a new chapter in your life, one that was not planned. But you will make the right decisions, the ones that are right for you and your kids.

Be well and know that there are lots of us out here checking in on you.

Sending you hugs and good wishes from the MN…

  Hudson-WI wrote @ September 3, 2008 at 3:55 pm

Found you through Matt’s blog… I hope that your decision to blog becomes a “positive” in your life. Your words have already inspired me to simply. live. better.

Thank you for that. (((Hugs))) from a stranger.


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